Posts

Grumpy day

Grrrr....I totally lost my temper with all 3 girls today.  This is how my anxiety and depression have been showing themselves lately, I am grumpy and short-tempered. I do not like being like this. I am frustrated because this was the way I was feeling about a year and a half ago (grumpy and short tempered).  I went to the Dr. and I started again on antidepressants and anxiety meds.  Over the last year I went back to the Dr. and we upped my meds a few times.  I was feeling SOOOOO good before Ellie died.   I was happy and would catch myself singing and dancing. I feel like this is a huge setback.  I mean of course it is, how could it not be?  But it feels like I just lost all of the progress that I made in the last year and a half.   I don't feel sad or depressed today, I just feel turmoil and I have no patience. I think I am going to have to go back to the Dr. to increase my meds.  Is that a good idea or a bad idea?  I don't kno...

Today I am sad

Yesterday and today I have just felt depressed.  I am just sad.  I feel like I have no purpose.  I am bored.  I feel like no one needs me.  I feel like I have nothing to do. These are all faulty thinking.  I do have things to do.  I do have people who need me.  But it is still the way I feel. I feel like sleeping all day, but I know that is not good for me.  So I am trying to keep busy.  But I am super unmotivated to do anything. Last night my stomach was really upset from being in turmoil all day. Jason and I went on a date last night to MOD Pizza.  We got curbside pickup.  After I ate a little, I asked him to take me home because my stomach was bubbly/churning/upset.  When we got home I went straight to bed. I have needed to take 2 benadryl for the last few nights to help me sleep.  I don't really have a problem falling asleep but I will wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep.  T...